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A Tale of Two Selfies

My 3Keys Story

According to Charles Dickens, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” So pull up a comfy chair, and let me tell you what my two selfies looks like. First off, I need to decide which “selfie” I will write about. Should I write about what I looked like up until 1996? Or, should I tell you about the two completely different lives I have experienced so far? I promise you I will spare you all the details and just fill in some major parts of my life. Now for an Extravert, this is going to be a huge struggle, but I will be brief—for an Extravert.

I was an only child born 4 months before WWII broke out for the US at Pearl Harbor. My parents wanted me to succeed; and as a result, they mostly demanded nothing but perfection from me. Sometimes the small, innocent child could not always comprehend all the rules and regulations imposed on her; but eager to be loved, the youngster did all she possibly could to win approval at all times and from everyone she encountered. This, of course, carried over to school and consisted in striving for high grades and staying out of trouble. A 98% on a test was unacceptable to my father. I thought that I had to enter the convent right after high school in order to be perfect and do what God was expecting of me. After ten years in the convent, I decided that this was not how my God looked, so I left to become a teacher. I married the bachelor in the apartment next door, who was 20 years older than I. Teaching became overwhelming at times, as I worked so hard to reach each and every student. I wanted every one of them to succeed, just like I had been pushed to succeed. Unfortunately, at this point in my life, I had never had training nor had a clue about students being individuals and all learning at different rates with unique and different personalities. This “aha” moment was to come later in the second “selfie” part of my life. My life was run by the “shoulds” running constantly in my head. I should wash the windows twice a year, wax the floors twice a year, wash all the tools in the shed after using them; and then wax, polish, and oil them all before putting them away for the winter. As an adult, my house had to be cleaned once a week, which was a huge downsizing from the three times a week I had to clean as a child. You get the picture here, so I will leave the rest to your imagination. Oh, did I mention I had more than one hundred tomato plants and every other kind of vegetable and herb you could possibly want in my 80’ by 10’ perfectly manicured garden? Work always came before play.

Around 1998, my so-called life crumbled into millions of pieces—at least I thought, but it was just finally all beginning to fall together—if there is such a creature. I had started 3Keys work and I was incredulously surprised to learn that I was living out a life that was in direct opposition to how my soul was created to be. This opened up many doors into my inner sanctum that had not been tapped into in this lifetime. I was encouraged to seek out energy work and art, even though I had no clue how to do either. I am so grateful for the wisdom of the creative therapist who opened up these seemingly locked and hidden doors for me. My whole circle of “friends” began to shift to people with an absolutely different focus. Peace came to me by being out in nature, loving all the birds that visited our feeders along with other animals that visited the backyard, like the brazen deer eating all the plants I put in, opossum and raccoons climbing on the steps, chipmunks with their cheeks completely crammed with expensive bird seeds, squirrels with their unbelievable, athletic antics—and yes, even the skunks who visited us at times—way too many times. Finding out that I was gay at 55 was an interesting experience to say the least, but it explained so many previously unanswered questions in my life. Saying that my life did a 180 degree turn is putting it mildly. My partner came into my life in 2001. We share many of the same interests, and still work at allowing each other to be her own person and honoring our own individuality.

I have come to learn that there will always be the ups in life along with the accompanying downs. I have learned that what matters is what I do with what comes my way in this journey called life. How do I react to the everyday happenings? How can I grow from these experiences that present themselves to me? Most importantly, how can I be a better person each and every day. How do I truly live as the pure being that I was created to be?

Finally, did I mention that I believe in unicorns, faeries, gnomes, dragons, pegasus, and other fun, magical creatures? How do I know they exist? Just ask them nicely to show themselves, and they might be there for you also. See what I mean when I said that my life made a 180 degree turn?

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